The "WHY"
I find it interesting how humans are always looking for a reason or explanation for their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Does the answer to your problem live in the “why”? If you know “why” you kicked Tommy on the playground – will you, magically, never do it again? If you looked deep into your past and determined trauma was the culprit behind your substance use or compulsive behavior, will you immediately cease your drinking, drugging, gambling, or shopping? Chances are whatever the WHY behind it all initially, is a far cry from the WHY of today. It may have been trauma. It may have been repeated exposure to the behavior or substances. Whatever it was, it is not the SOLUTION.
There is a saying: Knowledge, without action, is futile. Experience teaches us that the way out of these scenarios is by ACTING differently than you have for the last days, weeks, months, or years. (You DID act your way into them, didn’t you?) But MOLLY (!!!), I must address my trauma so I won’t be triggered. I hear what you are saying – but keep this in mind. If you start working on your trauma WITHOUT a new way of acting or coping – what do you imagine is going to happen? YEP. Right back into the food, the drugs, the drink, the porn. AND the consequences of that is trauma that becomes further prolonged and entrenched.
Addiction medicine experts suggest waiting for as long as 2 YEARS before addressing trauma-work. The belief is that this is a sufficient amount of time to have learned enough coping skills and to have built a solid support network that can assist you through the self-work trauma requires.
Where to start? There are local and online 12 Step programs/communities available as well as Rational Recovery, SMART Recovery, Refuge Recovery, addiction counselors, recovery coaches, online recovery programs, inpatient treatment options, and various non-12 Step influenced programs. You might even consider looking into recovery-based yoga and/or mindfulness/mediations.
Do you need help or support finding a fit? Let me know!