Recovery Management: Traps Five thru Eight

I have been thinking about how I have framed many of my blog entries, IG stories, Facebook posts, and Marco Polo messages… Because I walk in the world of addiction and recovery, I often talk about recovery management and relapse prevention as it pertains to addiction. The TRUTH is: Many of the ideas, themes, and topics that I have been choosing to give energy apply to ANYONE who has wanted to change their behavior (habit or otherwise), thoughts, or feelings.

So, what else can derail us from our goals? What sneaky behaviors and uncontrollable factors get in our way?

Trap Five: Stress. You may believe there are certain situations, people, events, and emotions which cannot be tolerated, yet cannot be changed. You may believe these things “caused” you to act out and if you avoid these things you will NEVER relapse. You may have had a long battle with power and control. You may view these situations as either 1.) personal deficiencies that you must correct, or 2.) totally out of your control, and you are at the mercy of the event (Give-Up-Itis, the fuck-its). The Truth is STRESS is NEVER the cause of slips, lapses, or relapse though it is often the trigger. Notice if you can identify with some of the common sources for chronic stress: Perfectionism, low frustration tolerance, resentments, poor relationships with your significant other, blame, obsessive worry, and/or poor health/chronic illness.

Trap Six: Complacency. You may feel your initial success at managing recovery negates the need for any further effort on your part. You may feel you can sit back and relax because the “battle” is over. The Truth is this is a difficult trap to avoid. As humans, we commonly associate relapse as having to do with problems. Complacency is about the ABSENCE of problems. Common errors in thinking may include, “I haven’t thought about eating ____in months”, “I graduated from the group so I must be cured”, “It isn’t fair to ask me to spend the rest of my life analyzing everything I do. When can I just relax? I haven’t binged in ______years”, and “I’m glad that’s over. Now I can get on with my life.”

Trap Seven: Mental Health Problems. Once the behavior or addiction is managed, life should be wonderful! All my problems should be gone! The Truth is psychiatric illness such as PTSD, Acute Stress Disorder, depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder can trigger a relapse.

Trap Eight: Complications of Normal Recovery. You (and often others) believe when the addiction or behaviors have stopped (abstinence) everything in life should automatically improve. If things do not get better or fail to meet your expectations for recovery, then you attribute these shortcomings to your recovery. You feel treatment is ineffective and you will never change. The Truth is even though you are abstinent/have stopped the behavior (10% of recovery), it does NOT mean your whole life will improve. Abstaining from substances and compulsive behaviors will not miraculously improve your life without a lot of hard work.

What other things derail you from reaching the goals you have designed?!? Let me know! And stay tuned for more common traps! I want to explore 17 of them!