Traps 13-17

The final five relapse traps are certainly not the FINAL traps we need to be on the lookout for. I challenge you to think about which of the 17 traps I wrote about apply to you and make a plan on how you will address them. To level up – I challenge you to think of your traps that you have fallen into or see how they could become traps. Things like old persons, places, things, compulsive behaviors like opening and closing the refrigerator and/or cupboards/pantry, not fully sharing any concerning thoughts or feelings you have had during the day, failing to follow through with recovery activities like affirmations, meditations, or inventories, etc.

Trap Thirteen: Codependency. You may believe that other people know what is best for you. You feel others are in control of and are responsible for, your recovery. If you relapse you blame your family, partner, therapist, and/or support system. Common errors in thinking sound like, “You tell me what to do” and “Nobody was there when I needed them”. The Truth is personal accountability is how we get, and STAY, well. Remember the acronym HALTS! You have the tools and the skills to use them.

Trap Fourteen: Negative Emotional States. You may believe that negative emotional states such as anger, loss, depression, anxiety, rejection, loneliness, boredom, worry, fear, grief, and any other unpleasant states are BAD. You feel they must be CONTROLLED and AVOIDED at all costs. Use and compulsive behaviors are used to escape or medicate negative emotional states. The Truth is negative emotional states are a normal and expected part of life. You will have to face such states and manage them DAILY. Deal with them as they occur. Do not “stockpile” negative emotions.

Trap Fifteen: Interpersonal Conflict. You may believe that any conflict in your relationship with others indicates the relationship is over, the person does not love you, the person is an *&#@ and cannot be reasoned with, you are inadequate. Errors in thinking may sound like, “My partner/boss/family just doesn’t understand me”, “It’s HIS fault”, “If they loved me they’d do as I asked”, and “Why can’t I make the relationship work?” The Truth is feelings of anger, power, and control grow from these thoughts and then often result in motivating us to return to use/compulsive behaviors.

Trap Sixteen: Isolation. You may believe nobody can relate to you and that you can relate to nobody. Errors in thinking may sound like, “No one can understand my problem”, “I’m better off alone”, “You can’t trust anybody” and “No one could like me as I am”. The Truth is these assumptions are based on feelings of superiority, distrust, paranoia, low self-esteem, inferiority, and inadequacy.

Trap Seventeen: Secrets. You believe if you tell people your true thoughts and feelings they will (emotionally/physically) hurt you. Errors in thinking may sound like, “If I tell my partner/friends/family what I am thinking, or feeling, they won’t love me”, “If they knew what I did they wouldn’t like me”, “If they knew the truth, I wouldn’t get what I wanted”. The Truth is we are only as sick as the secrets we keep AND secrets keep us sick.

I will be making an entry on planning for a healthy lifestyle as a primer on how to address these traps BEFORE you get caught in one!