I Used To Be a Snack-hole

I don’t know about you, but for many, MANY years – my head was cut off from the rest of my body. (And I don’t mean like the headless horseman.)

I was conditioned, from birth, that my needs were less important than anyone else’s needs. SO – I survived. I put food in my mouth to stem the flow of tears, anger, rage, excitement, joy, love. Food was my constant. It would not yell at me for being a kid, doing kid things. It would not smack me around for some unknown and unfathomable reason.

Food took care of me. Well, not FOOD, junk. Junk took care of me. Didn’t take care of me, NUMBED me. Shielded me from the sharpest attacks. But I did not KNOW that was what was happening. I did not know the reality.

Fast-forward many years, and food and eating became the thing I did. I was a SNACK-HOLE.

I ate if I was embarrassed, angry, ashamed, distrustful, guilty, feeling attacked, annoyed, experienced t(T)rauma, was disrespected, disappointed, uncomfortable, helpless, envious, hurt, lacked motivation, was overwhelmed, anxious, grieving, disgusted, scared, depressed, grumpy, rejected, nervous, exhausted, insecure, unsure, worried, running late for work, or I was joyful, wanted to celebrate, was relieved, happy, proud. It felt…robotic. AND it resulted in 100+ pounds of extra body weight, anxiety, depression, rage/anger/mood swings, painful feet, knees, and hips, constant migraines, TMJ, aching shoulders, lack of movement, and more. I neglected the signs and information my body was giving me. I punished myself with food and eating in an attempt to make the “problem” go away.

There is a SOLUTION!

Today, I work to connect my head to the rest of my body. My brain is just another organ, my head is just another body part. The area above my shoulders is NOT, nor should it be treated as, separate. I am a whole human being. So, I suspect, are YOU. Let’s “act as if” and see what happens! BUT HOW?!? You may ask?

BODYWORK. I am a huge proponent of bodywork. Massage, acupuncture, acupressure, reiki, energy work, reflexology, muscle testing, Body Talk, Biofeedback, Neurofeedback, somatic experiencing, craniosacral therapy, Pilates, yoga, meditation, body scanning, breath work, qigong, t’ai chi, isolation tank floats, chiropractic, drumming ceremonies, etc. are all examples of how you can start DOING something to connect your head and heart.

When we connect our hearts and minds…our heads to the rest of our body…our brains to the other organs- we are more likely to notice and take care of our NEEDS as they occur versus putting them off for someone or something else. My experience is that when this happens - we return to the food or some kind of eating behavior that is a slippery slope right back into the illness.

I truly think we are culturally influenced to try and THINK ourselves into new behaviors, feelings, actions, thoughts – unfortunately, we must ACT our way into the new. Our brains are designed to scan for danger and push us toward pleasure and away from pain. Thinking about something new is just as “dangerous” to the brain as an actual saber-tooth cat standing in front of us. We must ACT before the brain knows what we are doing and show it that there is pleasure associated with these health-focused behaviors.

What do you think? Thoughts? Need help? Let me know!

Light & Love, Molly