The 40% PART TWO

Last week we covered the first few myths, or personas, that show up (or existed prior to and during use or addiction behaviors) after the use/behaviors have ceased. If you don’t remember the first 5, you can check them out here: The 40% PART ONE

If you are really lost and want to revisit the conversation that got this all started - you can go back to the beginning here: Sobriety is a Blood Sugar Content

Let us continue the conversation and tackle the next five!

As per usual, please feel free to let me know if you have any questions, concerns, or comments. I am spending lots of time on IG talking about these myths more in-depth. I offer the belief system behind them and potential solutions as to how you can begin addressing them if they are true for you! Be sure to follow me on IG @mollypainschab.

MYTHS CONTINUED:

Barbie/Ken Doll Myth: We are defined by others. We want others to tell us how to look and act. We begin to believe our most valuable asset is how we look. We minimize what we know and who we are to fulfill the role. The Truth: is we have tried to get by on looks alone. The end of the game is when others tire of the child who requires continuous reassurance of their attractiveness. In the end we are often discarded like other material possessions.

The Entertainer: If I can entertain you with my music, my wit, or any other talent, you will worship and adore me. The Truth is: We experience acceptance only if others rave about our talents and seek our company to be entertained. The game is up when others tire of always having to be a fan or realize we have no warm, human qualities to contribute to the relationship.

The Perfectionist: I am not worthwhile unless I succeed at being the best in what I do. The Truth is: others grow exhausted from our constant drive for ultimate perfection, perceived “failure” cycle. The jig is up when we realize the futility of such high expectations.

Perfect Host/Hostess: We invest our energy in presenting a social picture second to none. Our goal is to gain recognition for our ability to serve and entertain. The Truth is: No one is perfect, and others often love and accept us for all our parts (flawed or otherwise). The end of the game is when others tire of our competitiveness.

Sweetie Pie: If I am nice to everyone, they will like me. The Truth is: our fear of rejection causes us to constantly seek the approval of everyone. The charade is over when we finally meet that one person we are either unable or unwilling to appease.

-As I continue to discuss these personas, behaviors, and beliefs more regularly, I am struck by how empty and hollow they all feel. The common theme that is being developed here is that in whatever way we are showing up in our lives – if we are living one of these myths, it is living for someone else. Someone else’s shame likely got us here. Someone else’s expectations are likely keeping us stuck somewhere we do not belong. Would you agree?

We will address the following myths next week:

People Pleaser

Rebel

Martyr

Caretaker

Dropout